So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
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i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
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