I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
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Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
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He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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