You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
