saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
