I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
