dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize