YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
