I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
