She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm eating all of the evidence.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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