I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize