I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
