screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
