When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
