rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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