So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
