I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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