I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize