why didn't you poke me back
so let's talk penis.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
