My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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