I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
