i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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