At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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