those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
