what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
