:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize