All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
