if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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