At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
