I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
