dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
