We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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