About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
