why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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