Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I supernannyed him into submission
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize