Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
