How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
