Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Damn victory sex feels great
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