why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
tell me about the eggs
Randomize