I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
