he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
