Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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