so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
