I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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