im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize