Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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