maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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