I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
