Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
