The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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