you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
