It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize