You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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