So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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