2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
