She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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