Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
