did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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