I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
