Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
