What did we do last night that was yellow?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize