If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
