I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
