no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
