Just cropdusted the office
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
