don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
